I am quite surprised at how being unemployed has changed what I do and how I feel on a daily basis. The lack of schedule means that I have no reason to wake up early and, on days when I have no plans, I sometimes dwell on how I have no reason to get out of bed at all.
I like to lie in bed for a while before moving, and sometimes when I have nothing getting me out of bed except that nagging feeling that I have no good reason to still be in bed, I tend to lay a bit longer…at least until the guilt takes over.
I no longer have work stressors, major projects to run, meetings about meetings or issues to resolve. My biggest challenge is trying to plan meals around a constantly broken Easy-Bake oven.
Don’t get me wrong, I find things to do. There are some days that I have so many things to do, it is difficult to fit them all in a single day, especially since I am unable to jump into a car and drive from place to place.
I love exploring new neighborhoods, meeting people for meals and drinks, shopping, socializing. I love having the freedom to do what I want when I want with few time pressures. But it is all suddenly so exhausting!
One thing that really surprises me is my dwindling energy level. It seems a half day of errands or lunch and socializing with friends is enough to drain me completely. I exercise regularly and do feel energized after working out for an hour but that energy does not seem to exude beyond a single day.
This afternoon I attended a baby shower. Nothing against anyone – I hate showers. I only went to my bridal shower because I had to. I tried not to have one but I was told that was not an option.
Today I sat around, ate tea-sized food, watched as the mom-to-be opened her gifts and chatted with the other guests. The commute was easy; I did not have to walk a long way. The only stress I experienced was related to participating in the shower, which turned out to be better than I expected.
By the time the event was thinning out, I realized I was so ready for a nap. I hailed a cab because I did not want to deal with the train. When I got home, I was so exhausted I passed out on the couch.
My feet are the worst though! Yes, wearing sundresses and flip flops every day is great – I love it. But on the chance that I want to wear some cute shoes, whether flats, wedges or heels, my feet cannot handle the pressure. I have more blisters than a dancer en pointe.
I blame the heat and how my feet expand in this weather; my feet just don’t seem to appreciate boundaries. I am making Band-Aids a fashion trend and carrying a spare pair of flip flops in my handbag as essential as an umbrella.
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