SOMEONE TO LAUGH WITH

No one makes me laugh like Paul McKee. I typically laugh my hardest when he thinks he is the funniest person on the planet and laughs so hard at his own jokes that his face turns red. 

Paul has only been here a few days but he is already making fun of me and my crazy antics. I seem to have a new appreciation for grocery stores since returning to the States, which gives Paul endless material.

I happen to like the Oreos that have white cookies and chocolate cream in the centers like the E.L. Fudge cookies. Not only did I buy myself a pack during my travels, my mom had two packages ready for me upon landing in Pittsburgh. I am stocked.

The other day Paul’s mom went to the grocery store. She and I looked over the holiday ads to see what was on special that week – something I never did – and I watched as she prepared her grocery list. I was suddenly carried away. Stove Top Stuffing was on special so I told her to grab the largest canister she could find. Stove Top cannot be found in Singapore, so I needed to put it in a box to be shipped home.

Honey Nut Cheerios were four for $5 so I had her get four boxes. I have not seen a single box of Honey Nut Cheerios in Singapore – sometimes we can find the regular or the five-grain boxes. If we were able to find them, do you know how much they would be? We would pay $12 a box – for the small box! You better believe I am shipping them.

When Paul prepared his breakfast yesterday, he saw the four boxes in the cupboard. He then came up with this idea that we should just buy up all the Honey Nut Cheerios and empty all the boxes into our suitcases. We could then just pour milk into the suitcases and eat right out of them.

“Wait, what would we tell the TSA?” he asks, laughing harder as he attempts to answer himself. “We can’t take any liquids!”

Yes, I realized this is one of those “you had to be there” moments, but the point is that my husband thinks he is the funniest man on the planet.

This evening at dinner, I joked about just having pie for dinner since I was truly not in the mood for anything at all and the apple pie on the cover of the menu looked so good. Paul decided to criticize my sweet tooth and proceeded to tell me how I should just give up sugar.

“We should get you tested,” he said, referring to my blood sugar levels.

“I get tested every year,” I replied, “since both of my parents are diabetic.”

“What?! You eat this many sweets and both of your parents are diabetic? Do you want your feet?”

After about 15 seconds, he continued, “You can’t eat that. Your foot’s going to fall off!”

At this point I grabbed a pen from my purse and began writing his one-liners on a cocktail napkin, knowing this conversation would fit right into this already-in-process post. Paul picked up the napkin once I had finished and started laughing out loud as he read what he had said moments prior, proving my point that he thinks he is so funny.

This moment reminded me of a time in college when Paul and I were dating. He came to visit me for my birthday. As we sat in my living room across from each other, I watched while Paul picked up the card that he purchased for me, read it to himself, laughed out loud and then signed the card, licked the envelope and threw it across the room at me. “What?” he asked. “I forgot what it said.”

Tonight we continued to chat while awaiting Paul’s aunt/godmother who was to join us. We were commenting on the dryness of our noses and how much our boogers hurt. I made a face while imitating Paul.

“If your face stays like that, I’m leaving you,” he said. What could I do but laugh?